if I could reach through the past I would whisper in MY ear

I were caught up in: past, time, and distance now.

For you I held my head up high, although suspicion were eating me inside.
but then that is how I know I'm alive.
kamu ngomong masalah fidelity, I said kita lihat aja nanti.
dan betapa kamu membenci kalimat itu.
yang sudah berulang-ulang aku katakan walaupun sebelum kamu berangkat ke Sorong.
well you have to face: I will not stop saying it, darling.

Time flies and I feel like I wasting it.
Could someone give me advice to stop running in this circle's hamster.
Because it feels like I'm falling in love.
But I thought falling means collapse, or crash, or go down, or tumble...

So tell me, is it wrong to be dead?